Alison's Online Poetry Slam

Here's the deal: it's my birthday week. ("WHHUUUUTTTT?" Yes.)

I would tell you how old I am, except you'll notice from my blog tagline that I'm being very secretive about my exact age and location so that none of my readers can stalk me, EVEN THOUGH YOU ALL KNOW ME IN REAL LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOM AND MY AUNTS.

(Hi Mom!)

Anyway, I am celebrating my birthday by combining some of my favorite things: poetry, dumb jokes, and you. In other words, I am hosting an ONLINE POETRY SLAM, and you're invited.

Question: What is an "online poetry slam"?
Answer: Kids these days say "slammin" when they mean "good." So an online poetry slam is when I write poetry online, except the twist is that it's actually NOT GOOD.

Here's how we're gonna do this. You give me a topic and I'll give you a poem. The more specific the topic, the better.

For example, if you say, "Write me a poem about words,"  I'll say:

People who talk about words
Are English teachers, or nerds.

But if you say, "Write me a poem about Words With Friends," I'll say:

Words with Friends is a game,
And the people who play it aren't lame.
Here's how I know that is true:
It's a game that I play with you.

And if you say, "Write me a poem about our current Words with Friends game," I'll say:

It's true that I still haven't beat you
Despite all the games that we've played.
In protest, I say it's because of
All the fake words you have made.

Tau is a stretch, but I'll take it,
And zig isn't all that absurd.
But quags, macle, oi, si, and sned?
Your 'wins' are as real as your words.

(Hi Dad!)

So there you have it. Give me a topic, and I'll give you a poem.

If you send me a photo, I'll caption it in verse. If you mention a shared memory or story, I'll write a poem about it. If you want me to write a poem for or about someone, I'll give it a try.

Instructions:

• Give me a topic and let me know if you want a nice or a funny poem. Examples:
• "Our midnight drive through a Kansas ice storm - funny"
• "Abraham Lincoln - funny"
• "This picture of my baby - nice"
• Send me the topic on the medium where you want to receive your personalized poem:
• Comments section on this blog -- I'll respond in the comments
• My Facebook wall -- I'll respond on my wall and tag you
• Twitter -- I'll learn how to use Twitter and then Twitter you back. (TWEET? RETWEET? HASHTAG? The details are a bit #fuzzy...)
• A private message, e-mail, or text -- I'll hit "reply" and send you your poem directly

Recap:

• WHAT: An online poetry slam
• WHO: You. It doesn't matter if I know you well; come one, come all!
• WHEN: All week!
• WHERE: On technology!
• WHY: Because my idea of birthday fun is writing cheeky limericks. That is the level of fun that you youngsters can hope to attain when you reach my age. Ha ha! 

Of course, no youngsters read my blog; they're all too busy snapping instatweets on their apple phones and trying to figure out if there's any difference between TIGHTS and PANTS.  (Question: Is there?  Answer: Get off my lawn!)

Actually, that might not make a bad topic for a poem. I can't wait to hear your requests, so let the online poetry slam begin!

Misguided Missions: Toxic Charity and The Case of Cuba

You know what inspired this blog series about short-term missions?  Cuba.

A few weeks ago I was reading an article from Christianity Today:

Title:  Special Report: Will Success Spoil Cuba’s Revival?

Subtitle:  With relaxed travel rules, Cuban leaders wonder whether Americans will dampen their churches’ zeal.

The article describes some good things that have been happening among Cuba's Christians, and their leaders' fears that a potential influx of American travelers and goods will be detrimental to the church's health.

Some of the fears are guess-able:

On the pessimistic side, Christian leaders wonder whether US visitors will destroy Cuban culture with their materialism and lifeless nominalism -- or whether Cubans will destroy themselves.

I'd be scared of materialism and nominalism, too, after watching what they've done to my own country. But what caught my eye was this line:

Another challenge: the avalanche of outsiders wanting to help.

Americans see an open door to Cuba and might think, "Finally! We can get in there and help these people! They are a poor country and we are a rich one. Maybe they need the gospel... we have that too! There's so much to do!"

Meanwhile, some Cuban Christian leaders are already worried about the potential influx of "helpers."

"There are many birds who want to land in Cuba," explains Eduardo Gonzalez del Rio, rector of Easter Baptist Theological Seminary in Santiago de Cuba -- "people who want to bring in their doctrine to help us." ...

Overall, Cuban church leaders are eager to collaborate with more American churches. But they want respect, despite disparities in size and wealth.

"Our problem is when foreigners come to tell us what we need to do. We've been here for many years, we've spread the Word under many difficulties, and we've been able to succeed," says a Western Baptist leader. "We love the idea of collaboration, but not imposition."

 Another leader said,

"Of course we are not perfect. But we are experts on Cuba. The Cuban church is an example of revival for the world. What others have to offer shouldn't interrupt what we are doing."

These are words of warning to the American church.

Have you read the book Toxic Charity?

I wish I'd read that book back in high school, before I ever took a trip abroad, before I ever donated to a food pantry, before I ever did a service project. (In fact, if you want to buy it but don't have the $9, let me know and I'll send you a copy.)

The author lays out the following "Oath for Compassionate Service":

1. Never do for the poor what they have (or could have) the capacity to do for themselves.
2. Limit one-way giving to emergency situations.
3. Strive to empower the poor through employment, lending, and investing, using grants sparingly to reinforce achievements.
4. Subordinate self-interests to the needs of those being served.
5. Listen closely to those you seek to help, especially to what is not being said — unspoken feelings may contain essential clues to effective service.
6. Above all, do no harm.

In the case of Cuba, following these principles might mean that Cuban church leaders are first asked what they most need before any team is sent (Principle #4, Principle #5). It might mean that American Christians provide training and collaboration, but not cash (Principle #2). It might mean that you decide not to go at all, if your mission trip is not needed or hurts the local people (Principle #4, Principle #6).

My own opinion is that these principles are particularly helpful for social justice efforts, where money, time, and work are given freely to people in need, by people who expect nothing in return. It is in these one-way exchanges that economics, power, dependency, and motives can result in some terrible unintended consequences.

But you know a few things you can give freely without risk? You can give prayer. I don't see any way that visiting a community and praying to the living God on their behalf will result in toxic consequences. You can give friendship and fellowship. You can give a listening ear. You can give the gospel.

When it comes to short-term missions, I think I've done all the wrong things at least once. I've hugged orphans I'll never meet again. I've raised money to do work that wasn't really needed. I've gone with the wrong motives.

I've also been on trips that got a lot of things right. They were based on long-term partnerships and collaboration with people on the ground. They trained me well. They opened my eyes to the great big world that God made, and spurred me on to try to love people from many nations.  Short-term mission trips led me into longer-term cross-cultural work and have unquestionably changed the course of my life.

Let me leave you with a challenge to thoughtfully and prayerfully examine your own views on short-term missions. Evaluate if you should go, and where, and why. Evaluate where your giving goes. Pray for your church leaders as they lead your church in how to approach short-term missions.

Here are a few resources:

• Toward Better Short-Term Missions (article)
• When Helping Hurts (Book. I haven't read this one yet, so I'm linking to a review. It's next on my list!)
• Toxic Charity (book)

Please leave questions, observations, experiences, and challenges in the comments!

This is the last part in a short series on the evolution of my views on mission trips. With two million Americans going on short term missions yearly (according to shorttermmissions.com), it makes sense to evaluate whether these trips are worth the expense, and if their outcomes are generally good or generally bad. My intention here is to highlight the nuances I now see and give us all some questions to think about, not to criticize you, your church, my church, or my own self.

Part 1. Misguided Missions: Analogy with a Side of Cookies
Part 2. Misguided Missions: The Problem Defined 
Part 3. Misguided Missions: The Culprit is Me (...and You?)
Part 4. Misguided Missions: Toxic Charity and the Case of Cuba
When Helping Hurts: A Misguided Missions Follow-Up

Misguided Missions: The Culprit is Me (...and You?)

Short-term mission trips literally changed my life.

Twice.

The first time was a service trip to Belize in 2004. I went with a bunch of other American students and we did manual labor at a Mennonite School for the deaf in Belize.

We painted stuff, planted stuff, replaced a roof, butchered some chickens, took side trips, washed dishes, ate ice cream, and generally had a blast. My team was amazing. We shared "family time" and worship every night; we were strangers who became friends in a day. The deaf students, the Mennonite workers, and other Belizean locals also felt like instant family to us.

It was one of the most magical months of my life, and it set into motion a desire to one day live abroad, at least for a year or two. Twelve years later, I still have friends from that trip. The school is still there, and some of the work that we did is still around, and other projects have been completed by a variety of American teams that have come since us.

In some ways, that trip got a lot of things wrong. Why raise $30,000 to send unskilled laborers to a nation that already has plenty of labor? Why send Christian workers to an ultra-Christian community?

A decade has passed, and now I would probably think twice about taking a trip that involves me "serving" people by crashing their lives for a few weeks with a paintbrush and a hammer. Nonetheless, I think the net effect of that trip in my own life was good, and I haven't yet heard that it was detrimental to the people we visited. (Phew.)

When I reflect on that trip to Belize, I'm reminded that the Lord can work through a trip that isn't perfectly designed.

The other trip that changed my life was this one:

China 2006. It was a 10-day trip to a central Chinese city to help with an English program and partner with a year-long team. It was the catalyst for my later three-year stint as an English teacher and cross-cultural worker in China, as well as my last ten years of trying to be friends with every international person who will have me.

That China trip avoided many of the common problems of short-term trips. It was part of a multi-decade, healthy partnership between my local American church and that Chinese city. It brought a burst of energy and assistance to the English program and to the long-term team. And it wasn't a one-way relationship. The English program served us by hosting us and paying for our lunches, and we served them by repping their school and practicing English with their students.

I would sign up for a trip like that again.

The trip I regret was my visit to the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta.

Here we are with the laundry that we hand-washed at one of the Missionaries of Charity houses, because there are no people who know how to wash clothes in India. Oh wait.

I've written about that trip on my old blog, and it remains one of my most-read and most-searched articles. People admire Mother Teresa (me too!).  They want a taste of what it's like to love the destitute like she did, and so they show up untrained and uncommitted and foist themselves on the people living in these houses (me too!), for however long they happen to be in Calcutta. Then they write about what a moving experience it was (me too!).

But in what way were those impoverished Indian women and children any better off for my having come? We couldn't communicate. I wasn't meeting any needs that the local church couldn't have met. I was just there to be part of the "poverty petting zoo," to have an interesting experience and pat my own back at the end.

I remember standing at the laundry line at the charity house talking with foreign volunteers from around the world. (Question: Why did they not just buy a washing machine? Possible Answer: Because it is more advantageous to the organization to give foreign volunteers something to do, so that they keep coming, keep donating, and keep supporting the organization).

Anyway, I was standing next to a Spanish woman who was talking about a beautiful experience she had in the House of the Dying. She was feeding a woman her lunch, and the woman just closed her eyes... and died.

And this Spanish woman was so moved; she had witnessed a soul leave this world. It was a peaceful moment, and she would never forget it.

But, as a speech pathologist trained in swallowing disorders, I couldn't help but wonder -- Was it possible that this untrained volunteer, feeding a very sick woman she'd never met, might have just fed her in such a way that she choked?

I started reading articles on the Missionaries of Charity and saw many criticisms of their methods, including their use of a revolving door of untrained foreign volunteers who really are doing nothing to help, and many times may actually be hurting.

It was my voluntourism in Calcutta that first helped me realize that there's such a thing as a bad short-term mission trip. It was selfish of me have gone.

I know many of my blog readers have supported me in my various trips over the years, and some have been on them! Others of you have gone on your own trips. Almost all of us will be asked to donate to trips like this, and have to choose what criteria we will use when we decide whether or not to give. I am so grateful for people who have supported me in the past, and grateful for enthusiastic, passionate Christians who want to serve others both here and abroad.

These days, I shy away from trips that mostly involve painting, hugging orphans, bringing supplies, or performing skits. I shy away from outreach efforts to places that already have many healthy churches. I try to use my money to support longer-term partnerships, sustainable ministries, and (whenever possible) to forward church-planting efforts in areas that have no church.

If you think about it, a local church ought to be able to do many of the things we now try to do as short-term visitors. They might need support, encouragement, partnership, or funds, but they might not need our presence.

I've love to know what you think. Have you gone on short-term trips? Were they healthy? Were they helpful? Any regrets or recommendations?

This is the third part in a short series on the evolution of my views on mission trips. With two million Americans going on short term missions yearly (according to shorttermmissions.com), it makes sense to evaluate whether these trips are worth the expense, and if their outcomes are generally good or generally bad. My intention here is to highlight the nuances I now see and give us all some questions to think about, not to criticize you, your church, my church, or my own self. 

Part 1. Misguided Missions: Analogy with a Side of Cookies
Part 2. Misguided Missions: The Problem Defined 
Part 3. Misguided Missions: The Culprit is Me (...and You?)
Part 4. Misguided Missions: Toxic Charity and the Case of Cuba
When Helping Hurts: A Misguided Missions Follow-Up

Misguided Missions: The Problem Defined

What's the problem with short-term mission trips?

Well, I think there's not always a problem. But there are potential problems. Check out the intro to this article from the Gospel Coalition:  Why You Should Consider Cancelling Your Short-Term Mission Trips:

I have seen with my own eyes or know of houses in Latin America that have been painted 20 times by 20 different short-term teams; fake orphanages in Uganda erected to get Westerners to give money ... teams who build houses that never get used; teams that bring the best vacation Bible school material for evangelism when the national church can never bring people back to church unless they have the expensive Western material; teams that lead evangelistic crusades claiming commitments to Christ topping 5,000 every year in the same location with the same people attending.

Holy cow -- talk about unintended consequences. Here you think you're just loving some motherless African babies, and suddenly people are building fake orphanages to get your American dollar.

Please go read the article in its entirety.  It discusses how economics, power, dependency, and motives can all go awry when we set out to do some Christian evangelism and service in a faraway place for a week or two.

Economics. Mission trips bring money. They inadvertently may create a market for the very thing they are trying to eradicate. (For an extreme example, imagine a Western team buying prostitutes out of sex slavery in India. When you deal in human flesh, whatever your motives, you risk creating a market for more human flesh.)  Mission trips may also destroy markets that were doing fine before they got there. The article above describes how clothing donated to Africa hurt the local clothing market.

Power.  Can receiving countries say "no" to American teams coming? Should they? The power differential might make it hard, even if it's burdensome for locals to host (and keep busy) teams of American church-goers who announce that they're coming to serve.

Dependency.  This is the biggest consideration, in my opinion. Dependent relationships are not healthy relationships! In the long run, it may often be better for a local village to figure out how to fund, build, and maintain their own village well than to have a team of American engineers come every year to fix it for them. It may be better for the local church, however poor it is, to figure out how to care for their own orphans. Dependency kills initiative on the part of the dependents, and probably isn't good for the other party either.

Motives.  The article states that the Bahamas receive one short-term missionary for every fifteen residents. This should give us pause. Are we (American church-goers) going where we are most needed, in the ways we are most needed, and staying home if we are not needed? Or do we value our own cool, self-validating experience more than we value the ultimate good to other people?

I don't think all short-term mission trips are bad, and there are ways to address all of the above considerations. The follow-up article over at Gospel Coalition is great: Toward Better Short-Term Missions.

In addition to many helpful principles and suggestions, it ends with this quote:

But the beauty of gospel ministry is that God is not handcuffed by our foolishness. He is still accomplishing his purposes amongst the nations. For any harm we may cause, God is using others to bring great advances for the gospel. So become a thoughtful global Christian. Think critically about cross-cultural engagement. Be convicted if you are harming the church in other cultures. But know that in the end, God is still on his throne, and his work will be accomplished.

This is the second part in a short series on the evolution of my views on mission trips. With two million Americans going on short term missions yearly (according to shorttermmissions.com), it makes sense to evaluate whether these trips are worth the expense, and if their outcomes are generally good or generally bad. My intention here is to highlight the nuances I now see and give us all some questions to think about, not to criticize you, your church, my church, or my own self. 

Part 1. Misguided Missions: Analogy with a Side of Cookies
Part 2. Misguided Missions: The Problem Defined 
Part 3. Misguided Missions: The Culprit is Me (...and You?)
Part 4. Misguided Missions: Toxic Charity and the Case of Cuba
When Helping Hurts: A Misguided Missions Follow-Up

Misguided Missions: Analogy with a Side of Cookies

This is the first part in a short series on the evolution of my views on mission trips. With two million Americans going on short term missions yearly (according to shorttermmissions.com), it makes sense to evaluate whether these trips are worth the expense, and if their outcomes are generally good or generally bad. My intention here is to highlight the nuances I now see and give us all some questions to think about, not to criticize you, your church, my church, or my own self. 

***

You know what the world needs more of?

Chocolate chip cookies, obvs.

I think we can all agree that the world would be a better place if more people had access to chocolate chip cookies.

But let's imagine the almost unimaginable tragedy that would have been my life if I somehow had never sunk my teeth into the steamy, buttery goodness of a freshly baked CCC.

I would have been sad.

I would have been hungry.

I would have had nothing to eat for breakfast.

And then imagine that a team of bakers came to my house to teach me how to bake! It happened like this:

I sat at the island in my kitchen amazed at the skill of the bakers as they whipped together ingredients I had previously only seen in the movies.

It didn't matter that the only words we could understand of each other's languages were "hello" and "bye bye" and my new word, "cookie."

We took pictures together in our aprons and posted them to an adoring world. "How selfless you are to help that poor, cookieless American!" commented people from both of our countries. It was so fun.

Ah, but then the cookie triumph turned into a cookie tragedy.

The foreign friends didn't realize that my oven worked in Farenheit, so they set it to 180 degrees and the cookies didn't bake. Then they had to leave before they could help me clean up the mess, so I had to wash the goo off all the cookie sheets myself. The bakers had given me the recipe, but the English translation was poor and I knew I'd never be able to make cookies without help.

I hoped that the team would come again the next summer and bake me a successful batch of cookies, but when the next summer came, it was a whole new group of foreigners that came traipsing through my kitchen. Would you believe that they tried to set the oven to 180 degrees again? Just like the last group.

The third summer, there was no cookie team. The local church that had hosted them each year  couldn't find four host families, so there was nowhere for the team to stay while they spread the love of chocolate chip cookies throughout suburban America. It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway; the foreign baking organization that sent the teams ran out of funds. Apparently $8000 is a big price tag to send volunteer bakers to help the dessert-less.

So we were forced to resort to Plan B. My local church had an oven, and chocolate chip cookie recipes in English. We even had some skilled bakers! For fifty dollars, we purchased enough supplies for several batches. They had a training class and taught me how to make cookies myself, and now I can make them whenever I want and share them with my friends, too.

And I do. Oh, I do.

***

Let's continue the conversation!  Find the whole series here:

Part 1. Misguided Missions: Analogy with a Side of Cookies
Part 2. Misguided Missions: The Problem Defined 
Part 3. Misguided Missions: The Culprit is Me (...and You?)
Part 4. Misguided Missions: Toxic Charity and the Case of Cuba
When Helping Hurts: A Misguided Missions Follow-Up
 

Around the Web in Fifteen Minutes

Hi readers!  I've read some lovely and interesting articles lately, and I'm really hoping some of you will want to read along.  Let's hit it.

Tired moms and dads, this essay is for you: 

Someday

Sarah Bessey writes,

...we have never been so happy and so tired and so everything all at once

 and,

Some nights, I get into bed and I think I have never been more tired and I will never be this tired ever again. I say things to my husband like I wish I could go back in time to smack my own self for every time I ever said that I was tired or busy before this time. He’s usually asleep already.

Parents, thank you for the hard and sometimes exhausting work that you are doing.

Here's one for moms feeling not just grateful and tired, but also completely overwhelmed:

What it's Like to be a Stay-at-Home Mom on the Verge of Depression

Here's a snippet:

Depression is anger turned inward, right? Well, I’ve got my share of that going on, and I totally get it if you do too. When I’m frustrated by something, I don’t know how to deal with it because there is always someone else who has it worse. In those moments, my anger pulls me down like a weight on my shoulders. My guilt silences my cries.

You don’t deserve to cry about this. People have it way worse than you, my guilt tells me.

My 2-year-old daughter quit napping. Big whoop. Some moms don’t even get to be home during their toddler’s nap time. I’m a stay-at-home. Still, we’re both a wreck.

I liked this article for a few reasons. I think it was a good reminder for overwhelmed moms that they are not alone, and a good reminder for the rest of us to be quick with empathy and support.

But did you notice what else the writer did? She explored that weird guilty feeling when you're angry and sad, but you know other people are in far worse situations.

Once I was crying about something comparatively small and apologized to a friend, who was undergoing a much greater trial. She graciously told me that each person's experience of sadness is her own and gave me permission to go on feeling just as rotten as I felt. You don't compare grief; you just share it.

Back to the article:

I think about my friends without kids who can just hop in the cars and spend an evening reading in the corner of some coffee shop. They can just put on their coat, get in their car, and drive off.

I dream of days like that.

She says she sometimes dreams about the freedom that only childless people enjoy, but then feels bad because she knows some of them would love to trade places with her.

This section caught my eye because the number one piece of advice I've been given about the single life is to "enjoy it." And this advice is almost always delivered to me by tired parents who miss the time, money, and carefree life they used to have before their children arrived.

But if I am expressing sorrow or discouragement about my single life, telling me, "Enjoy it; I dream of those days!" is kind of like telling me "Enjoy your grief."

And if a tired mom is expressing sadness or discouragement about her mommy life and I tell her,  "Enjoy it; I dream of those days!", I'm probably not helping.

So I came up a handy dandy proverb:  Don't Tell People To Enjoy Circumstances About Which They Are Expressing Sorrow Even If Aspects of Those Circumstances Seem Appealing To You In Comparison to Your Present Situation.

Think it will catch on?

Anyway, here's the most fascinating article I've read in weeks. (Thanks to my brother for passing it along!)

What Would Cool Jesus Do?

 

This is not just an article about Justin Bieber.

(Did I lose you already?  COME BACK!!  THERE'S MORE!!!)

This is not just an article about Justin Bieber's baptism and the church he now attends.

This is not just an article about the leaders at Hillsong in NYC, the hip, huge church that Justin Bieber now attends.

At its heart, I think this is an article about the mixed feelings of a non-Christian encountering the gospel for the first time. 

In writing the article, the author spent a lot of time interviewing leaders of Hillsong Church.  She asked Joel, one of the leaders, about a family scandal:

He tells me that he considered changing his last name, that he wanted nothing to do with him or any of it, and also that he believes Jesus probably eventually forgave old Frank, because that’s what Jesus does. What is striking about this is how admirable it is to answer questions about something so ugly, but it is also inherent to Joel’s Christianity: People sin. We all sin.

 "Joel's Christianity," she calls it.  Does the author not know that this is Christianity? And not just Joel's Christianity? We all sin, and we're all eligible for forgiveness through Christ.

She likes the leaders of the church, and she's drawn to keep coming back. But she's offended that they don't allow gay leaders in their church and condemn abortion.

She wonders if maybe there's something to Christianity. But she wonders if she'd be throwing away her Orthodox Jewish upbringing if she she explores it further.

Curiosity, anger, admiration -- these are great first responses to the true message of Christ, which the author appears to be hearing for the first time.

A fascinating read.

What about you?  What have you read lately that you want to pass along?