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Saturday, September 19, 2015

[In the Style of a Pirate] Good News

Ahoy!  This here be International Talk Like a Pirate Day.  Ye lads and lasses know I take a likin to all things International.  And on this great, grand holiday I be thinkin how I could reach me fellow pirates with the good news from the good Booke.  Aye, the Booke you be findin in yarr churches.

"Matey," I'd say.  "Did ye ever do a thing that warn't right?  Aye, I know ye did.  We be scallawags from the bow to the stern, from the hold to the jib.  There be that time we came across Tall Bob Diamond's ship and stormed it, loaded to the gunwales with grog, but fightin like we meant it all the same.  And we sent those lily livered land lubbers marchin off the end o' the plank.

"Then there was the wench we met ashore.  I stole her purse for a piece of eight and paid no mind to the little lassie cryin at her side.  You were there!

"But then I read in yon good Booke that all of us be scallawags, not one of us worth the gold doubloons we pillaged from Scarface Sal.  It be thar in Romans 3:23.

"And then I be readin in Romans 6:23 that every scallawag goes straight down to Davy Jones' Locker.  Matey, I read that and my timbers shivered like they had never shivered before, for I was the scurviest scallawag on ship and bound for the cat o'nine tails or worse.

"Then a tale of one Captain Saul of Tarsus reached me ears -- the bloodiest pirate on the high seas suddenly turned clean and set to writin letters about the Good Lord.  And right thar in Romans 6:23 I read about Dread Jesus of Nazarreth, the hearty who walked the plank in his place.

"Avast!  Did ye hear that, matey?  Dread Jesus walked the plank straight down to Davy Jones' Locker and Captain Saul walked free.

"And he did it for me.

"And He'll do it for you.

"Drop to your knees, you landlubber, and by the blood of the Nazarrene you'll be walkin free.


And that's how I'd share the gospel with a pirate. :)

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