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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Zaphod Beeblebrox for President?

Today, to fill your insatiable desire to know what I think about the presidential candidates, I'm going to feature some quotes and descriptions of the man I believe to be the most memorable president of all time: Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Zaphod Beeblebrox is the egotistical golden boy who, in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, somehow ends up as the President of the Universe, in addition to running a very successful secondhand ballpoint pen business.

As you read these quotes, please keep in mind that any resemblance between Zaphod, a fictional two-headed egomaniac, and Donald Trump, a well-known one-headed businessman hoping to lead our great nation, is purely coincidental.  

It was for the sake of this day that he had first decided to run for the Presidency, a decision which had sent waves of astonishment throughout the Imperial Galaxy — Zaphod Beeblebrox? President? Not the Zaphod Beeblebrox? Not the President? Many had seen it as a clinching proof that the whole of known creation had finally gone bananas.

Trillian: "Can we drop your ego for a moment? This is important.''
Zaphod: "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.''

He had rather liked Zaphod Beeblebrox in a strange sort of way. He was clearly a man of many qualities, even if they were mostly bad ones

One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced with Zaphod was distinguishing between him pretending to be stupid, just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact he actually didn't understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy describes Zaphod as follows (quotes collected from this site):
  • "Adventurer, ex-hippy, good timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch"
  • "Clever, imaginative, irresponsible, untrustworthy, extrovert, nothing you couldn't have guessed"
  • "The worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe."

Once again, remember that this is a post about Zaphod Beeblebrox, NOT DONALD TRUMP.  And do read the book if you ever have time -- it's a quick and clever read!

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